End-of-the-Year Reflection

My thoughts in June:

First of all, I think the most important thing I’ve learned this year is to think of myself first as a general educator, then as a math teacher. There is so much more to teaching than just math, and the relationships I form with students are in many ways more important than the math skills I teach. However, I seem to have trouble finding enough time during the day or during class to really build those relationships in an effective manner so that I can both truly understand the students on a deeper level and I can use those relationships to motivate students in the classroom. On the other hand, I’m also not sure it’s entirely my responsibility to hold every student on that deep level. I would at least like to hold my advisees on that level, and seeing my advisees on a daily basis would at least make me a more effective advisor. I guess I’m still trying to find the balance between building relationships and teaching content and how those two ideas relate.

Now that I’ve taught Math 2, 3, and 5 this past year, I’m beginning to see the through-line within the BAA math curriculum. There are a lot of really fantastic things that we do here with the math curriculum that make students’ learning more grounded in concepts than in specific skills. I love the focus on projects instead of on testing, and I particularly value the arts-connected projects. It is so important for students to see how math and the arts relate, and I would like to see even more of that in my classroom. However, I also feel that I need to spend a lot more time developing more curricula that is less skills-based.

It seems to me that in any high school, there needs to be more focus on conjectures and proofs instead of only skills. There is a big gap between the study of mathematics in middle/high school and in college, and I would like to see more of the true nature of math in K-12 classrooms, meaning there should be more exploration and play within mathematics so that students have the opportunity to experience the joy and beauty of the subject. I feel that those are big curricular changes that I would want to change at any high school. BAA has the added benefits and difficulties of working with a population of artistic students. On one hand, artistic students have the creative abilities to see mathematics in a different light that other students may not have. On the other hand, there is the added challenge of making the skills component engaging to students who may not typically find math interesting or applicable. I feel it is important to explore more deeply the arts-math connection in meaningful ways. It is also our responsibility as general educators who send our students to college to provide for our students a rigorous college preparatory mathematics education. While I support and encourage our students to continue their artistic endeavors after high school, I also would never want to limit their options by not providing enough mathematics content in their high school curriculum. Our students are still young, and they will still make many choices in their lives that lead them down very different paths. It is extremely important to me that they receive the proper mathematics education so they can be successful in whichever path they choose. In other words, while it will take a great deal of time and energy to change an entire curriculum, it is important to continue working at it throughout my years (and summers) as a teacher.

Besides all of the opportunities and challenges surrounding teaching math in an arts high school, I also feel one of the biggest issues I dealt with this year is attendance. It began in our fall first period Math 2 class, which was such an unfortunate course in which for students to have an attendance problem because it was such a skill-building class for some of our lowest-performing students. I had trouble dealing with the district-wide attendance and grading policy, and I still have trouble seeing how students after their fourth absence or so have any incentive to come to school and learning anything. While I agree that students should be held accountable for their absences, I do not feel that grading is an effective place to hold that responsibility. I also do not feel that grading should be based on behavior or even effort in the classroom, but that is an entirely separate personal issue I have with the philosophy of grading in general. My point is that I thought this issue was first period and Math 2 specific. However, I learned otherwise second semester when select students in both my first and sixth period Math 3 classes had severe attendance problems. Student concern forms and parent phone calls only seemed to have a minor effect on student attendance. I wonder why these problems seem to be so prevalent on the BAA campus and what steps I can take in my classroom next year in order to ensure I do not have repeats of the same behaviors.

I also found myself really struggling with classroom management in my sixth period class second semester. They were a very high-needs class in that the range of skill levels was huge, and I needed much more effective differentiated instruction. Moreover, the high-performing students were also very loud students, which very much affected the classroom dynamic. I struggle to find the ways I can prevent this from happening again.

Overall, I know that this past year was only my first year as a teacher. I came into this school with certain expectations, and while some turned out to be true, other ideas of mine have been turned upside down. As Pete Shungu said once during one of our intern classes, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much more I have to learn.” His comment still resonates with me, and I really feel that this idea is powerful for teachers. I can only be an effective teacher as long as I am questioning my practices and constantly trying to improve student learning and achievement. I am excited about next year, and I am looking forward to the many ways I know I will be pushed and stretched by the BAA teaching community. I value very much the experience of the teachers I am working with, both on the Math Team and on the 12/11 team, and I always appreciate the thoughtful and meaningful discussions that take place during our professional development. I only hope that I will be able to develop my own voice amidst the plethora of already powerful voices in this school and that I will also become a powerful force for change.

So it's been awhile...

I apologize for that. The end of the year has been super busy, and I still don't feel like I have enough time in the day.

However, there will be an end to my madness, I promise. Tomorrow is the last official day of the school year at Boston Arts Academy. I will have about two months off before I come back in August, and I'm really looking forward to rest. However, I am still in Tufts classes, and I will not be done until July 2nd. (That's really soon - eek!)

As I have been reflecting on my year here, I wrote down some thoughts in response to my original professional development goals from September. I will post those original PD goals below and my follow-up reflection in my next blog post.

Thank you for reading! I will have another blog up and running before the fall returns!

Goals that I wrote in September:

I think my goals have changed a lot since I applied to the program almost a year ago. I guess the primary goal that is still the same is that I want to develop a new way (or curriculum) of teaching math so that it is more grounded in concepts than in procedures and shortcuts. So many students seem to struggle with memorizing formulas instead of grappling with the underlying concepts and problem-solving skills that are essential to math.

Now that I am in the classroom, I think another important thing I want to learn is how to make the math classroom exciting in a way that is effective and not a waste of time but that also motivates students to come to school. We seem to be having an attendance problem in our Math 2 class, and the students are struggling with the concepts, yet tell us that it's boring. It seems there should be a way to make the content exciting and motivating for the students so they'll be able to better understand and apply math concepts.

Another goal I have is to learn better how to relate to students so we can have a mutual respect for each other. How can I get students to do what I want them to do without telling them what to do? I guess I have a lot of high expectations, but I'm so excited to learn that I can't help myself.

My Parents Visited

So this past Sunday, I graduated... again! Sort of...

I walked at the Tufts commencement two days ago to symbolize receiving my Masters Degree, despite the fact that I have two more independent study math classes to complete in the next six weeks. Eek! However, the good news is that my internship is officially over (as I am now officially substitute teaching - see previous post), and the spring semester is also officially over (I rocked my classes, by the way). I am sooo close to completing my degree, and then I will officially be a Massachusetts licensed high school math teacher. I am sooo stoked!!!

Because of this momentous occasion, my dear parents visited all the way from California. And the best part was that they visited me and my students at school. They shadowed me for an entire today, so they met the students in both of my math classes and my seminar. And it was awesome! The students were so excited to meet my parents, saying "Oh my god, Ms. Wallace! Are these your parents? You look just like your mom! Are they proud of you? Oh my god, your dad is just as corny." It was incredible. And I loved watching my parents interact with my students. Now they have a taste of the fabulous craziness I experience every day. As I always say, there's never a dull moment at BAA.

So thank you, Mom & Dad, for being so supportive throughout my FIVE years at Tufts, especially through my intense internship this year. I could not possibly ask for better parents. I love you.

Transitions

So... I am officially substitute teaching at Boston Arts Academy for the remainder of the year, as of the beginning of May. Not only did I get hired to work at this school for the 2010-2011 school year, but they also hired me to replace another math teacher on maternity for the remainder of the year. And she had her baby two weeks early! So surprise! Haha. Fortunately, I felt very prepared already, and I even got to visit her in the hospital with her eight-hour-old baby girl! So much happiness.

Anyhow, it was a smooth transition, despite the surprise timing. I was already familiar with my students, and I really appreciate BAA for being so supportive all year so as to make the transition so smooth. It was also surprising how comfortable I felt adjusting to taking on a full-time teaching schedule without the support of my mentor teacher. She and the other math teachers prepared me very well. I was really excited to finally be on my own in the classroom without having another teacher in the room. And now, 2-3 weeks later, it feels very normal. And I'm very pleased to say that I don't at all get tired of it. I still love coming to school every day and feigning energy at 8am. The kids motivate me, and I am so excited that I've been given the opportunity to stay at this school next year.

Unfortunately, I haven't officially gotten in my paperwork with BPS because Tufts has my transcript on hold because the semester just ended. But as soon as I get that in, I will be getting paid, which is sooo exciting! I can't wait to have an income! And I can't wait to spend my money this summer! Woo!

Happiness!!!

So... in other news... I GOT THE JOB!!!

Most of you who read my blog already know this, but I needed to make it official. Next year, I will be working at the same school where I am currently interning, Boston Arts Academy. I am pumped to continue teaching math at an urban public arts high school! It's everything I wanted and more all rolled up in one. I'm hoping to work on getting my secondary certification in special education, so I can be more useful to my math students who need that special help. I'm also hoping to start a musical theater club, so I can get more involved with students with similar interests. And I'm also just hoping to get back on my feet with my own arts interests, whether that means taking more dance classes, finding a new voice teacher, or auditioning for shows again! I'm so happy and excited about what the future holds. I love this school, this administration, this faculty, these students, and I cannot wait to start collaborating on new curricula. I hope to push myself even more next year to break the mold and really do more experimental, exploratory things in my classroom. Hopefully, I feel more comfortable and less nervous than I did this past year, and I know that I have the rest of the math team on my side. :)

Yay! Excuse me while I go squeal a little more...

Demoralized

The past two weeks during my teaching practice, I have felt rather demoralized. Why? I have two words for you: TEST PREP.

Ugh... My juniors were prepping for the SAT, and my sophomores are prepping for the MCAS. Both of these exams, though they are quite different, are high-stakes standardized tests that can seriously change the future paths of my students. It's discouraging to watch them struggle and only sometimes succeed when I know they are extremely bright, talented individuals. It's frustrating to know that a low score on the MCAS could mean a student not receiving a high school diploma or a that a low score on the SAT could mean extremely limited college choices. And it's extraordinarily disheartening to watch my students in class put their heads down on their desks in dismay. I hardly have my usual energy and enthusiasm to keep encouraging them with "You can do it!"

I don't really understand how we got here, why it suddenly became so important to assess everyone's knowledge purely based on standardized test scores. From Bush's NCLB to Obama's Race to the Top, I simply can't understand the people making education policy anymore. Why are we firing so many teachers and closing so many schools? If we base teachers' pay on their students' scores, who will want to teach the low-scoring kids? When did we stop trusting teachers and start bribing them with salary increases? It seems there are so many backwards philosophies going on here, I don't even know which one to attack first.

As Deb Meier said, "Everytime I see the words "race to the top" it chills me. Who is racing where? What's at the finish line? A gold star?" I had the incredible opportunity to hear Deb Meier speak at Tufts University this year, and she was incredibly inspiring to me. I'll share a story with you that she shared with the audience that really hit home for me. (Of course this is totally paraphrased from my memory, so I apologize for the inaccuracies.)

When my son was in third grade or so, he took a multiple-choice test. He didn't score very well on it, so we were going through the questions together at home. We got to one question that he answered incorrectly, and I asked him to explain to me why he chose the answer he did. And he said, "Well, I knew they wanted me to choose answer B, but I thought D was better." I responded, "But you knew they wanted you to choose B!" And he said, "Yea, well, I wrote a little note here in the margins explaining why my answer was better." He was shocked to learn that no one had read his margin notes and that a computer had graded his exam. That's when I realized how easily standardized tests could produce false assessments.

I think Meier has a brilliant point here. The issue with standardized tests is that there's a false belief that they are indeed standard and unbiased. Everyone agrees that a B+ from Ms. Smith's classroom in California will probably not mean the same thing as a B+ from Mr. Jones' classroom in Connecticut, so we don't try and compare them. However, we then make the false assumption that a 600 on the math section of the SAT for one student in Wyoming means the same thing for a student from Chelsea. They are still not comparable due to the circumstances in which each student was raised and educated and due to the nature of the test. What people fail to realize is that all assessment still comes down to human judgment. Whether we are assessing students through tests and quizzes, essays and papers, or portfolios and projects, human beings will still subjectively assess student work. Hence my frustration with teaching to the MCAS or the SAT. My dear students are being poorly assessed through these tests that hold so much power over their futures! It kills me to see them so stressed and demoralized.

I discovered something interesting upon talking to another math teacher at our school. Over the past several years, they have improved significantly every year on their MCAS scores, but they have remained stagnant for quite some time with their SAT scores. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that the SAT is scored based on the national averages, though I'm not actually sure how the MCAS is scored. While I'm glad to see fewer of our students finding the MCAS as an obstacle to graduation, I'm still frustrated by the fact that urban areas all over the nation struggle with SAT scores. Why is it?!? It doesn't seem fair, and I never quite know what to tell my students. Most of my students are aiming for somewhere between 400-500 on each section, which is ghastly different from what my friends and I were aiming for when we were in high school. I only wish I knew how I could change that.

Well, at least my juniors are finished with the SAT for now... until they take it again in the fall. We still have one more week of MCAS prep for my sophomores. Here's to hoping for a better week!

Sometimes I need to have more faith...

If you read the previous post, you'll know that I talked a lot about how stressful the last school week was for both me and the students. I was very concerned about their business project. I happen to think this business project was a great assessment of their knowledge of linear programming, so I really wanted them to do well on it. However, considering most of them did not turn their project in on time on Tuesday and seeing that most of them were incomplete, I was very worried. I brought the students' work to my Wednesday night class to discuss how I could have made the project more effective, etc. I got some really great suggestions, and they pointed out to me that maybe they needed more explicit instructions. In other words, maybe the students knew more than I thought but my questions were simply not evocative enough of the ideas I was looking for. I thought... perhaps. But I was not convinced.

However, sometimes I need to have more faith in my students. On Thursday, they gave their oral presentations on the business projects. I was soooo impressed! My class had been correct - they knew a lot more than I thought. Three students gave oral presentations of their own business projects, which was an extra credit assignment. And they were awesome! They were so well informed, and they had really great ideas. The students in the audience asked really good questions. It was a really productive session. What was even more awesome, I think, was that the rest of the students had to debate two different business proposals. And I was worried they were going to run out of points to argue, but again, I underestimated my students. They had so many amazing ideas that had never even occurred to me, and they got way too into the debate (haha). Sometimes they were standing on chairs and yelling at each other. (Okay, yes, it was a bit of a chaotic experience, but I loved it!) They were just so incredibly brilliant. Again, I was so proud. I love my students. And I learned that I sometimes need to give my students a little more credit. :)