End-of-the-Year Reflection

My thoughts in June:

First of all, I think the most important thing I’ve learned this year is to think of myself first as a general educator, then as a math teacher. There is so much more to teaching than just math, and the relationships I form with students are in many ways more important than the math skills I teach. However, I seem to have trouble finding enough time during the day or during class to really build those relationships in an effective manner so that I can both truly understand the students on a deeper level and I can use those relationships to motivate students in the classroom. On the other hand, I’m also not sure it’s entirely my responsibility to hold every student on that deep level. I would at least like to hold my advisees on that level, and seeing my advisees on a daily basis would at least make me a more effective advisor. I guess I’m still trying to find the balance between building relationships and teaching content and how those two ideas relate.

Now that I’ve taught Math 2, 3, and 5 this past year, I’m beginning to see the through-line within the BAA math curriculum. There are a lot of really fantastic things that we do here with the math curriculum that make students’ learning more grounded in concepts than in specific skills. I love the focus on projects instead of on testing, and I particularly value the arts-connected projects. It is so important for students to see how math and the arts relate, and I would like to see even more of that in my classroom. However, I also feel that I need to spend a lot more time developing more curricula that is less skills-based.

It seems to me that in any high school, there needs to be more focus on conjectures and proofs instead of only skills. There is a big gap between the study of mathematics in middle/high school and in college, and I would like to see more of the true nature of math in K-12 classrooms, meaning there should be more exploration and play within mathematics so that students have the opportunity to experience the joy and beauty of the subject. I feel that those are big curricular changes that I would want to change at any high school. BAA has the added benefits and difficulties of working with a population of artistic students. On one hand, artistic students have the creative abilities to see mathematics in a different light that other students may not have. On the other hand, there is the added challenge of making the skills component engaging to students who may not typically find math interesting or applicable. I feel it is important to explore more deeply the arts-math connection in meaningful ways. It is also our responsibility as general educators who send our students to college to provide for our students a rigorous college preparatory mathematics education. While I support and encourage our students to continue their artistic endeavors after high school, I also would never want to limit their options by not providing enough mathematics content in their high school curriculum. Our students are still young, and they will still make many choices in their lives that lead them down very different paths. It is extremely important to me that they receive the proper mathematics education so they can be successful in whichever path they choose. In other words, while it will take a great deal of time and energy to change an entire curriculum, it is important to continue working at it throughout my years (and summers) as a teacher.

Besides all of the opportunities and challenges surrounding teaching math in an arts high school, I also feel one of the biggest issues I dealt with this year is attendance. It began in our fall first period Math 2 class, which was such an unfortunate course in which for students to have an attendance problem because it was such a skill-building class for some of our lowest-performing students. I had trouble dealing with the district-wide attendance and grading policy, and I still have trouble seeing how students after their fourth absence or so have any incentive to come to school and learning anything. While I agree that students should be held accountable for their absences, I do not feel that grading is an effective place to hold that responsibility. I also do not feel that grading should be based on behavior or even effort in the classroom, but that is an entirely separate personal issue I have with the philosophy of grading in general. My point is that I thought this issue was first period and Math 2 specific. However, I learned otherwise second semester when select students in both my first and sixth period Math 3 classes had severe attendance problems. Student concern forms and parent phone calls only seemed to have a minor effect on student attendance. I wonder why these problems seem to be so prevalent on the BAA campus and what steps I can take in my classroom next year in order to ensure I do not have repeats of the same behaviors.

I also found myself really struggling with classroom management in my sixth period class second semester. They were a very high-needs class in that the range of skill levels was huge, and I needed much more effective differentiated instruction. Moreover, the high-performing students were also very loud students, which very much affected the classroom dynamic. I struggle to find the ways I can prevent this from happening again.

Overall, I know that this past year was only my first year as a teacher. I came into this school with certain expectations, and while some turned out to be true, other ideas of mine have been turned upside down. As Pete Shungu said once during one of our intern classes, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much more I have to learn.” His comment still resonates with me, and I really feel that this idea is powerful for teachers. I can only be an effective teacher as long as I am questioning my practices and constantly trying to improve student learning and achievement. I am excited about next year, and I am looking forward to the many ways I know I will be pushed and stretched by the BAA teaching community. I value very much the experience of the teachers I am working with, both on the Math Team and on the 12/11 team, and I always appreciate the thoughtful and meaningful discussions that take place during our professional development. I only hope that I will be able to develop my own voice amidst the plethora of already powerful voices in this school and that I will also become a powerful force for change.

So it's been awhile...

I apologize for that. The end of the year has been super busy, and I still don't feel like I have enough time in the day.

However, there will be an end to my madness, I promise. Tomorrow is the last official day of the school year at Boston Arts Academy. I will have about two months off before I come back in August, and I'm really looking forward to rest. However, I am still in Tufts classes, and I will not be done until July 2nd. (That's really soon - eek!)

As I have been reflecting on my year here, I wrote down some thoughts in response to my original professional development goals from September. I will post those original PD goals below and my follow-up reflection in my next blog post.

Thank you for reading! I will have another blog up and running before the fall returns!

Goals that I wrote in September:

I think my goals have changed a lot since I applied to the program almost a year ago. I guess the primary goal that is still the same is that I want to develop a new way (or curriculum) of teaching math so that it is more grounded in concepts than in procedures and shortcuts. So many students seem to struggle with memorizing formulas instead of grappling with the underlying concepts and problem-solving skills that are essential to math.

Now that I am in the classroom, I think another important thing I want to learn is how to make the math classroom exciting in a way that is effective and not a waste of time but that also motivates students to come to school. We seem to be having an attendance problem in our Math 2 class, and the students are struggling with the concepts, yet tell us that it's boring. It seems there should be a way to make the content exciting and motivating for the students so they'll be able to better understand and apply math concepts.

Another goal I have is to learn better how to relate to students so we can have a mutual respect for each other. How can I get students to do what I want them to do without telling them what to do? I guess I have a lot of high expectations, but I'm so excited to learn that I can't help myself.

My Parents Visited

So this past Sunday, I graduated... again! Sort of...

I walked at the Tufts commencement two days ago to symbolize receiving my Masters Degree, despite the fact that I have two more independent study math classes to complete in the next six weeks. Eek! However, the good news is that my internship is officially over (as I am now officially substitute teaching - see previous post), and the spring semester is also officially over (I rocked my classes, by the way). I am sooo close to completing my degree, and then I will officially be a Massachusetts licensed high school math teacher. I am sooo stoked!!!

Because of this momentous occasion, my dear parents visited all the way from California. And the best part was that they visited me and my students at school. They shadowed me for an entire today, so they met the students in both of my math classes and my seminar. And it was awesome! The students were so excited to meet my parents, saying "Oh my god, Ms. Wallace! Are these your parents? You look just like your mom! Are they proud of you? Oh my god, your dad is just as corny." It was incredible. And I loved watching my parents interact with my students. Now they have a taste of the fabulous craziness I experience every day. As I always say, there's never a dull moment at BAA.

So thank you, Mom & Dad, for being so supportive throughout my FIVE years at Tufts, especially through my intense internship this year. I could not possibly ask for better parents. I love you.

Transitions

So... I am officially substitute teaching at Boston Arts Academy for the remainder of the year, as of the beginning of May. Not only did I get hired to work at this school for the 2010-2011 school year, but they also hired me to replace another math teacher on maternity for the remainder of the year. And she had her baby two weeks early! So surprise! Haha. Fortunately, I felt very prepared already, and I even got to visit her in the hospital with her eight-hour-old baby girl! So much happiness.

Anyhow, it was a smooth transition, despite the surprise timing. I was already familiar with my students, and I really appreciate BAA for being so supportive all year so as to make the transition so smooth. It was also surprising how comfortable I felt adjusting to taking on a full-time teaching schedule without the support of my mentor teacher. She and the other math teachers prepared me very well. I was really excited to finally be on my own in the classroom without having another teacher in the room. And now, 2-3 weeks later, it feels very normal. And I'm very pleased to say that I don't at all get tired of it. I still love coming to school every day and feigning energy at 8am. The kids motivate me, and I am so excited that I've been given the opportunity to stay at this school next year.

Unfortunately, I haven't officially gotten in my paperwork with BPS because Tufts has my transcript on hold because the semester just ended. But as soon as I get that in, I will be getting paid, which is sooo exciting! I can't wait to have an income! And I can't wait to spend my money this summer! Woo!

Happiness!!!

So... in other news... I GOT THE JOB!!!

Most of you who read my blog already know this, but I needed to make it official. Next year, I will be working at the same school where I am currently interning, Boston Arts Academy. I am pumped to continue teaching math at an urban public arts high school! It's everything I wanted and more all rolled up in one. I'm hoping to work on getting my secondary certification in special education, so I can be more useful to my math students who need that special help. I'm also hoping to start a musical theater club, so I can get more involved with students with similar interests. And I'm also just hoping to get back on my feet with my own arts interests, whether that means taking more dance classes, finding a new voice teacher, or auditioning for shows again! I'm so happy and excited about what the future holds. I love this school, this administration, this faculty, these students, and I cannot wait to start collaborating on new curricula. I hope to push myself even more next year to break the mold and really do more experimental, exploratory things in my classroom. Hopefully, I feel more comfortable and less nervous than I did this past year, and I know that I have the rest of the math team on my side. :)

Yay! Excuse me while I go squeal a little more...

Demoralized

The past two weeks during my teaching practice, I have felt rather demoralized. Why? I have two words for you: TEST PREP.

Ugh... My juniors were prepping for the SAT, and my sophomores are prepping for the MCAS. Both of these exams, though they are quite different, are high-stakes standardized tests that can seriously change the future paths of my students. It's discouraging to watch them struggle and only sometimes succeed when I know they are extremely bright, talented individuals. It's frustrating to know that a low score on the MCAS could mean a student not receiving a high school diploma or a that a low score on the SAT could mean extremely limited college choices. And it's extraordinarily disheartening to watch my students in class put their heads down on their desks in dismay. I hardly have my usual energy and enthusiasm to keep encouraging them with "You can do it!"

I don't really understand how we got here, why it suddenly became so important to assess everyone's knowledge purely based on standardized test scores. From Bush's NCLB to Obama's Race to the Top, I simply can't understand the people making education policy anymore. Why are we firing so many teachers and closing so many schools? If we base teachers' pay on their students' scores, who will want to teach the low-scoring kids? When did we stop trusting teachers and start bribing them with salary increases? It seems there are so many backwards philosophies going on here, I don't even know which one to attack first.

As Deb Meier said, "Everytime I see the words "race to the top" it chills me. Who is racing where? What's at the finish line? A gold star?" I had the incredible opportunity to hear Deb Meier speak at Tufts University this year, and she was incredibly inspiring to me. I'll share a story with you that she shared with the audience that really hit home for me. (Of course this is totally paraphrased from my memory, so I apologize for the inaccuracies.)

When my son was in third grade or so, he took a multiple-choice test. He didn't score very well on it, so we were going through the questions together at home. We got to one question that he answered incorrectly, and I asked him to explain to me why he chose the answer he did. And he said, "Well, I knew they wanted me to choose answer B, but I thought D was better." I responded, "But you knew they wanted you to choose B!" And he said, "Yea, well, I wrote a little note here in the margins explaining why my answer was better." He was shocked to learn that no one had read his margin notes and that a computer had graded his exam. That's when I realized how easily standardized tests could produce false assessments.

I think Meier has a brilliant point here. The issue with standardized tests is that there's a false belief that they are indeed standard and unbiased. Everyone agrees that a B+ from Ms. Smith's classroom in California will probably not mean the same thing as a B+ from Mr. Jones' classroom in Connecticut, so we don't try and compare them. However, we then make the false assumption that a 600 on the math section of the SAT for one student in Wyoming means the same thing for a student from Chelsea. They are still not comparable due to the circumstances in which each student was raised and educated and due to the nature of the test. What people fail to realize is that all assessment still comes down to human judgment. Whether we are assessing students through tests and quizzes, essays and papers, or portfolios and projects, human beings will still subjectively assess student work. Hence my frustration with teaching to the MCAS or the SAT. My dear students are being poorly assessed through these tests that hold so much power over their futures! It kills me to see them so stressed and demoralized.

I discovered something interesting upon talking to another math teacher at our school. Over the past several years, they have improved significantly every year on their MCAS scores, but they have remained stagnant for quite some time with their SAT scores. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that the SAT is scored based on the national averages, though I'm not actually sure how the MCAS is scored. While I'm glad to see fewer of our students finding the MCAS as an obstacle to graduation, I'm still frustrated by the fact that urban areas all over the nation struggle with SAT scores. Why is it?!? It doesn't seem fair, and I never quite know what to tell my students. Most of my students are aiming for somewhere between 400-500 on each section, which is ghastly different from what my friends and I were aiming for when we were in high school. I only wish I knew how I could change that.

Well, at least my juniors are finished with the SAT for now... until they take it again in the fall. We still have one more week of MCAS prep for my sophomores. Here's to hoping for a better week!

Sometimes I need to have more faith...

If you read the previous post, you'll know that I talked a lot about how stressful the last school week was for both me and the students. I was very concerned about their business project. I happen to think this business project was a great assessment of their knowledge of linear programming, so I really wanted them to do well on it. However, considering most of them did not turn their project in on time on Tuesday and seeing that most of them were incomplete, I was very worried. I brought the students' work to my Wednesday night class to discuss how I could have made the project more effective, etc. I got some really great suggestions, and they pointed out to me that maybe they needed more explicit instructions. In other words, maybe the students knew more than I thought but my questions were simply not evocative enough of the ideas I was looking for. I thought... perhaps. But I was not convinced.

However, sometimes I need to have more faith in my students. On Thursday, they gave their oral presentations on the business projects. I was soooo impressed! My class had been correct - they knew a lot more than I thought. Three students gave oral presentations of their own business projects, which was an extra credit assignment. And they were awesome! They were so well informed, and they had really great ideas. The students in the audience asked really good questions. It was a really productive session. What was even more awesome, I think, was that the rest of the students had to debate two different business proposals. And I was worried they were going to run out of points to argue, but again, I underestimated my students. They had so many amazing ideas that had never even occurred to me, and they got way too into the debate (haha). Sometimes they were standing on chairs and yelling at each other. (Okay, yes, it was a bit of a chaotic experience, but I loved it!) They were just so incredibly brilliant. Again, I was so proud. I love my students. And I learned that I sometimes need to give my students a little more credit. :)

Craziness!!

So... last week was spring break - which was totally awesome!!! It was a much needed break from the stresses of the previous week, when I was totally freaked out about applying for jobs. So I spoiled myself with a trip to New York City and spent the rest of the week doing nothing productive. :) Now it's back to the grind... sigh.

Anyway, I was thinking about how stressful my week was before break, but I didn't talk at all about how stressful my students' lives were right before break. Sometimes I forget that my incredibly talented students have ridiculously busy schedules as well, and I need to acknowledge that. We had a crazy schedule. One day the 9th graders all went to the university for Engineering Day, and another day the 9th graders had an all day Humanities exhibition called Afrika Lives! The 11th graders have been in SAT prep, and they spent an entire school day taking a practice test. So besides the fact that we were working all our students like crazy, they also had a billion arts-related events! (We are an absurd school with how much time we require of our students.) The senior theatre majors had their senior showcase, the senior music majors had their senior recitals, and the junior and senior dancers had their spring show. The senior visual arts majors have their show this Thursday, so they've all been in crunch time for a while now. It's really just incredible how much work they do. Oh, and I forgot! They had their talent show the Friday before break. And they all gave amazingly awesome performances. I definitely cried several times. I was such a proud mother.

And on top of all that, my Math 3 students were working on a huge business proposal project, AND I gave them a midterm exam that covered EVERYTHING we've learned this semester. Oy! I feel stressed just thinking about it all. Anyway, I suppose my point in writing all of this is that I felt like I really tried cramming too many things into one week. I felt stressed, and I'm sure the students felt stressed too. Some of them got so overwhelmed that they just shut down and didn't produce any work. Others simply gave very poor performances. And I don't like that I didn't provide them with a productive learning environment. I want my students to feel proud of their work, and I'm not sure they did. They felt rushed, and I felt rushed. I suppose it's simply something I really need to take into consideration in the future. Sometimes life gets in the way, and it's just not always worth it to push forward if the students are not satisfied.

Jobs!

So it's about that time, and I'm applying for jobs. And I'm super nervous!!! I really want to stay teaching at the same place I've been interning, but I'm worried that my hopes are too high. I need to make sure I work super hard this week in order stay organized and motivated. I desperately want this job, and I know I'm perfect for it. But I just need to figure out how to sell myself!

At least I've been able to apply to five jobs thus far. Maybe it'll get my mind off of one specific school and thinking more about other schools. Although, let's be honest, I really already have my heart set. At least I've been organized enough to get those applications together, right?

One of the things I need to deal with is my certification. The DOE website is being weird and telling me I can't reapply for the same license. So I'm super confused. I guess I'll have to call them soon to figure that out. And I'm worried about how my crazy roommate situation will come up during job interviews. There's just too much for me to be stressed about right now!

I'm also really worried because neither my internship or my graduate program ever really taught me how to do lesson plans. And at my school, we collaboratively write a lot of the curriculum. So I don't have many "lesson plans" that are my own. So I'm not sure what I'm supposed to pull to put in my portfolio as I apply to jobs.

I'm also worried about decorating my portfolio or whatever. I want to make sure it stands out, but I also want to make sure it's genuine. I don't want to put some cheesy quote on there that makes me look stupid. So how do I make myself stand out without being ridiculous?

In general, I'm feeling very stressed and overwhelmed by the job search. I guess in part, it's my own fault for putting so much pressure on myself to get this one job. But there's not much I can do about it now that I have my heart set on it. I'm rethinking everything I've done all year and realizing that I haven't been living up to my full potential. I haven't been able to try the new things I've been wanting to try, and I haven't been able to do anything particularly amazing or incredible with my students. In short, I don't feel that I've done a very good job. So it's hard to get my confidence up so I can sell myself! Goodness gracious, I hope I survive this week!

End of the Term

So this Thursday grades close for term 3 at our school. That means the semester is half way over, so my math students should have learned half of what they are supposed to learn in Math 3 by now. Eek! I guess what's scary is that I have no idea if they have! I don't have a strong enough understanding of the Math 3 curriculum in order to see the bigger picture. I'm not sure what the end goal is, so I'm not sure if I'm being successful with them. No wonder the kids don't find purpose in their math homework!

I'm also curious about my grades at this point. I've been doing a lot to help my students at the bottom of the class, and their grades have gone up a fair amount. By a fair amount, I mean from 40% to 60%. So I guess my question is, if a D- is passing for our school, is it a good thing that I'm being lenient to help them get their grades up, or is it harming them by teaching them that I can bend the rules? I guess there are two layers here: 1) Are their grades going up because I'm being nice or because they're actually learning and improving their math skills? 2) Is it more important for me to push them to learn their math skills, or should I be teaching them more student skill lessons about turning in work by the correct deadlines and such?

I guess I'm just still not convinced that their grades properly reflect how much they understand of Math 3, and I'm not sure how to better evaluate that. I guess it comes back to the fact that no matter what you do, grades will always be somewhat subjective because they are always somewhat based on human judgment. So I guess I'll try not to get to down on myself about it. I give gradekeepers to my students every week, so they should be aware of their grades at all times. It takes some of the responsibility off of me by placing the grades in their hands.

Also, last week was an odd week because my sophomores weren't in class because they were taking the ELA MCAS, but my juniors still had class. So I had to find activities to do with the juniors that were still productive but that didn't get them ahead of the rest of the class. Now I need to find a way to sync them back up again and keeping chugging ahead.

We've done some interesting things this past week. I stole the Broken Calculator game from a website/ the brilliance of a professor from my school. It's a computer activity where the students are given a calculator with many broken buttons. For instance, only the "2," "3," "+," "x," and "=" work, and the students are given 8 or so numbers that they have to make using only those buttons. For example, using the buttons listed above, make the number 6. That one is easy: 2x3=6. Now make 50 using those buttons. It's a little trickier, so it causes the students to really think about the most efficient methods of making different numbers besides just doing 2+3+2+3... They had a lot of fun with it too! Now I'd like to find a way to weave this back into their study of graphing inequalities with multiple constraints. We are starting a business project soon, and they need to be pretty adept at manipulating inequalities with graphing and word problems, etc. So I hope last week wasn't a waste, and I hope we can move forward effectively!

Blatant Lying

So I've been working with one of my students a lot in the past week to get him caught up. He's failing my course, and he's behind on a lot of his work. So he's been seeing me before and after school to get back on track.

I'm mostly really proud of him, except we've had a few unfortunate moments of lying/cheating. One of the first things he did to try and catch up was refine one of his quizzes. I always encourage refining quizzes, so I was happy that he wanted to do it. However, I also always give out two versions of the quiz, so they have slightly different numbers, and presumably my students won't cheat. Unfortunately, this student failed to realize that there were two different versions when he copied another students' quiz responses for his quiz refinement. I was so disappointed. I only looked at the first two questions and saw the numbers were entirely copied from the second version, and I didn't give him any credit. I told him that if he expected to get caught up in this class, copying another students answers wasn't going to do him any good.

Then about a week later, I was supposed to meet him before school at 7:15am to go over some work. My mentor teacher was running late, and I didn't have a key, so I sat outside the classroom until about 7:30am until she let me in. I waited and waited, and my student finally showed up at 7:55am (right before class started at 8am). I asked, "Where have you been?" And he said, "I was here on time, but [my mentor teacher] said you weren't here yet." And I just chuckled and said, "You've got to be kidding me. You just blatantly lied to my face. I was here before her today." I don't know why I was so shocked by this, but I just couldn't believe that my student was going to tell me such an obvious lie, especially one that I could easily verify with my mentor teacher. I mean, I'm happy that he's still been coming to see me after school and everything, but I also don't understand how he scatters these little falsehoods into his makeup work. I really truly want him to do well, but it's really discouraging to me when these things happen. It makes me think he doesn't really want it. On the other hand, maybe he's just so overwhelmed by how far behind he is that he's just trying to cut some corners.

Anyway, I just hope that we can both get him caught up AND show him that honesty is always the best policy.

Why Don't They Understand?!?

So one of the things I've been most frustrated by in recent weeks is that my students who are in an Algebra II class don't seem to understand the basics of algebra. Most of my students failed the last quiz, and I was really upset by that. But upon further investigation of their quizzes, I realized that most of them were failing not because they didn't understand the concepts of substitution and elimination but because they didn't now how to manipulate equations. Most of them did not understand why you have to do the same operation to both sides of the equation. It was such a depressing moment for me, because I realized that I don't even know how to proceed with this course if they don't understand things they should have mastered at least a year ago. It would be different if it were only 5-7 students in my class in this position, but it appears to be at least half of them. I think I'm going to require that a group of students come to a review session after school this week because they will never progress or pass the MCAS without understanding algebraic manipulation. It's very good that I chose to do my semester project for my math/science teaching class on the concept of the equals sign. I hope it sheds some light on the matter for when I teach this in the future.

Fairness?

So I've been grappling with the issue of fairness for a few weeks now. My 6th period class is a very mixed bag in terms of students' skill levels, which makes sense when you work in a full-inclusion school with no tracking whatsoever. I have a few students who rarely need any explanations from me and do all the work ridiculously quickly, and I can never give them enough challenging work. On the other hand, I have several students who need serious one-on-one tutoring and who cannot possibly follow along during class. It can create quite a frustrating atmosphere for both me and the students.

I'll be honest, I haven't really been worrying too much about the students who are doing well. Part of me feels bad that I'm not taking enough time to make sure I challenge them, but I'm really just much more worried about my students who have no clue as to what's going on. Since I have this group of students whose grades range from 30-60%, I've been trying to find anything to motivate them to do their work. So one of my ideas is to give them significantly smaller assignments so they can feel better about at least accomplishing something. While I usually think this choice is justified, sometimes I feel weird knowing that I expect someone students to complete all the work for a perfect score and other students only have to complete some of it for a perfect score. I know it's definitely not equal, but is it fair?

Let me give you a summary of a couple of those students that I'm targeting with this plan.

I have one student who sits in the back of class every day and does barely any work. He usually doesn't even take out his assignments or even a pencil during class. So I've asked him a couple of times about why he doesn't do anything during class. He told me honestly that he was just lazy, which I appreciated, but I also wanted to change that. So I first wanted to know if he understood the material, so I asked him how to do the first problem on one of the assignments, and he explained it perfectly! So I said, "Write that down," and he said, "I don't want to." I said, "Excuse me?" He said, "I have a lot of trouble writing things down." So in order to get him to do his work, I've started asking him to at least complete the first page of the assignment. I figure something is better than nothing, right? But is that fair?

I have another student is actually extremely motivated to learn the math and not at all by his grade. However, on a daily basis, he goes through this frustration cycle that can sometimes be impossible to break through. Every single day, he gets really frustrated and angry with new material, and he always claims, "I don't get it. I don't want to do it. I can't do it." And he totally shuts down until he gets one-on-one help (which is hard to give to him every day with such a big and diverse class). And as soon as he gets 10 minutes of help, he gets excited and says, "Oh, I get it. I can do this. That's easy." And it baffles my mind every single day how he goes through this roller coaster of emotions in every single class. So again, I've been giving him smaller assignments because I simply want him to be able to stay on top of his work when he can't get individual tutoring sessions with me. So is that fair?

I have other students in other situations, and I'm trying to make different accommodations and modifications for each student. However, sometimes it's really difficult for me to keep track of, and I'm still so conflicted about fairness. I just desperately want my students to learn, and even as I give them all these accommodations, it doesn't seem to help all that much. Their grades go from a D+ to a C-, and they feel successful for about a day before they fail the next quiz. Anyway, I'm just so frustrated, I would love to hear any suggestions or thoughts!

Snow Day! ... Not

So that was an interesting week. The city called a snow day for Wednesday the night before, but alas, there was less than an inch of snow by the end of the day. While I suppose I enjoyed my day off, watching romantic comedies, it also threw off our entire schedule for our math projects. Because we had no school Friday (for community day), and then we went on break! Unfortunately, this means that my students' project presentations are pushed to tomorrow. (So let's hope they did their work over break!)

We are doing a Movie Pitch Project to tie together what they've learned about exponential functions. It's an interesting project where they have to come up with their own idea for a movie, and then research other similar movies (either by genre or lead actor or whatever) in order to make a prediction for how their movie will do at the box office. It's really a clever idea. However, I feel that there is a fine line between scaffolding and supporting your students so that they understand what they're learning and spoon-feeding them answers. And through doing this project, I am starting to feel that the students didn't do a ton of their own critical thinking and problem-solving. We pretty much tell them exact where to find the information, how to calculate averages, and then how to create their own exponential function to describe the income of their movie. So it felt like the students didn't always really know why they were doing the calculations they were doing. I'm not sure they understand how they came up with their own function. Maybe the presentations tomorrow will help them tie it all together, but I do feel frustrated ending this unit not feeling like the students fully grasp exponential functions.

I am also worried that as we start linear functions this week, I'll end up doing the same thing. I feel like all this Math 3 course is about is skills. And sure, if the students memorize these skills and procedures, then they'll ace the MCAS, but I'm not really sure what they'll have learned. I need to figure out a way to pull it away from skill-building a little, or at least I need to find a way to incorporate the thinking back into it. I want more students to ask "Why?" And I guess that means I need to be asking the same question.

I Met Deborah Meier!!!

The Tufts Democrats organized a great discussion on public education policy and reform at their Issues of the Future Symposium this past weekend. Deborah Meier was their keynote speaker, and I was just so happy to meet her! She was amazing. She kept saying she was going to be discouraging, and I understood what she meant because she had a lot of negative things to say about the Race to the Top Fund and just our general miserable state of education reform in this country. But it was nothing new to me, so she was frankly very inspiring and hopeful to me! She was such a dynamic speaker and such a great storyteller. I could have listened to her speak all day long. I definitely need to read more literature by her. I was a little starstruck when I introduced myself to her afterward. I stuttered a lot, but I just wanted her to know how much everything she had said resonated with me. I only hope I can do her justice and really live up to all the math education reform I want to see change. When I was done, she gave me a big hug and encouraged me to keep going. I was in awe. The whole weekend gave me so much more to think about in regard to education policy. I mean, I am now totally convinced how much standardized tests are phony. I dislike Obama and his administration more than I ever did before - haha. And I am re-inspired to change the world! Don't worry - I'm sure I'll come down from this high soon, but let me enjoy it while it lasts!

SAT Prep Fail

Friday was a very sad day for me. I worked with a small group of students on SAT prep for five hours. Most of them are reading at the sixth grade level so it was nearly impossible for them to read these college level passages. Most of them were tired and exhausted by the third hour, so it was a major struggle to even keep them awake by the end. Most other juniors were taking a full-length practice test, but we took these students aside to simply talk them through the test and introduce some basic test-taking strategies in hopes that would help them not freak out. While I believe a lot of the work we did was good, I'm not sure the students felt any better when they left. In fact, most of them were frustrated, discouraged, and frankly quite angry. We only did one writing section and one reading section, and that was enough to make them go a little crazy. We kept reminding them that they would have to sit in their seats for five hours without talking when they took the real test, but that was really appalling for most of them. They also didn't understand that we couldn't help them spell words, and we couldn't answer any of their questions. We kept saying, "When you take the real test, you won't be taking it at school, and you'll have some proctor that you won't know. You won't be able to ask them questions, and most of them will be very strict about when you can leave to use the restroom and whatnot." It was quite a stretch for most students, and I just kept wondering what this was all for. I mean, how much does the SAT really tell you? Why haven't colleges yet figured out how misinformed the test is? Why must they put my students through this torture?!? After talking to another teacher who has done a lot of research on the SAT for students in urban schools, she informed me that SAT scores from urban schools are much lower than their suburban counterparts. It's just so frustrating and depressing to know that my bright, intelligent students aren't being recognized for their hard work and critical thinking skills. That's not what the SAT tests! And it's even more depressing to see the direct correlation between family income level and SAT scores. It makes it impossible for my students or students at any urban school to do well! Why doesn't ETS care about social justice?!? Grrr!

Never a Dull Moment

One of the ways I describe teaching to people when they ask is with this catchy phrase, "There's never a dull moment." It's so true! There are ups and there are downs, but it never gets boring - that's for sure. This week was no different. I generally felt that my Monday and Wednesday classes went pretty well, but my Tuesday and my Thursday classes went poorly. I'm struggling with teaching to every student's skill level. I keep wanting to move slowly so that everyone understands, but 95% of the class is then bored! I don't want to be a boring teacher, but I'm having trouble justifying moving on when I know everyone doesn't understand the concept yet. I need to find ways to challenge some students with independent work while I work with other students individually. My mentor suggested I make a list of students I'm worried about and brainstorm ways to help them out. I also need to go through students' IEPs again to make sure I'm giving them what they need. I think one of the best solutions for this class is for me to spend less time at the board. Give as little whole group instruction as possible, then break up into small groups or individual work so I can help different groups of students. Another suggestion my mentor made was to put times up for each section of my agenda. She thinks I do a very good job at making sure I answer every student's question but that I need to set limits so the class can move on as a whole. So once thirty minutes are up for homework questions, I say, "I'll take one more question, and then we need to move on." We'll see how that works. Thoughts?

My Classes

Well, this week has certainly been interesting. I went the first three days of my new semester without my mentor teacher. It was a little scary but probably a good challenge for me. I had to set the tone for the semester in those days, and it was rough. Even though I'm teaching two Math 3 classes, the personalities of the two classes are totally different. First period is sophomores, and they're mostly quiet and mostly very quick with math. Sixth period is juniors, and they're extremely talkative. So that's a huge battle, and on top of that, they're all at very different skill levels. Some are simultaneously taking Math 3 and Math 4 to get ahead, and others barely scraped by in Math 2. And it's a larger class, so it's really hard to give everyone the attention they need. Moreover, half the time I'm just trying to get them to stop talking. I unfortunately kicked two students out of class on Thursday to make a statement. I hate that I had to do that, but I was so patient the first three days. I had students coming up to me after class asking if class was going to be that loud all semester, so I knew I had to do something. It's really hard to not be an authoritarian teacher.

I must admit that after the first week, I feel a bit discouraged. Between the kicking students out of class and seeing some students so discouraged with exponent rules, I'm already starting to feel like a really bad teacher. I'm frustrated also that I don't usually know what I'm teaching until the day before. On one hand, I'm grateful that four of the math teachers are teaching the same course, so we all co-create materials. It makes my job easier in that I don't have to make everything from scratch. For one, I don't know the curriculum well enough to know what I would need to create to teach an Algebra 2 course. On the other hand, I hate that I have to wait for the other teachers to send their materials. It gives me less time to change things if I want to change them, and it gives me less time to figure out how I want to teach something. And I don't have the experience that the other teachers have to know what will be hard to teach and where I should stop and spend more time. I'm also worried that I'm already behind. I have to finish teaching how to scale graphs and introduce exponential functions tomorrow, and it's just really a lot. Plus, there are already students that have bombed the first quiz and students who have already surpassed their maximum number of excusable absences for the term. How do I help them all?!?

I've also switched seminars, so I'm taking on a larger role in teaching reading and writing. While I'm excited about it, I'm already so overwhelmed with all the math stuff that I'm just not sure what to do.

Question: If 30% of my students' grades are based on their classwork, how should I check it? Also, if 20% of their grade is homework, how should I be grading that?

Good Moment

So this was an exciting moment that happened several weeks ago that I'd like to share with you.

This past semester, a student asked, “Why do we have to learn how to simplify exponents? Will it ever help me when I go to the grocery store?” My immediate response was, “Is the only purpose of education to help you make it through the grocery store?” Many students miss the purpose of education, and schools don’t often do a very good job at responding to their inquiries. We do not educate generation after generation simply for the purposes of survival, but we do want to promote students to ask their own questions and create their own ideas about the world. So another student responded to the question first. He said that it was important to learn math because you don't want to be embarrassed because you can't do a simple calculation when someone asks you. He said that you want to be a smart, educated person. I thought he gave a great answer, and I also added that you need to keep learning math because you don't want to cut out so many options for careers when you're 15 years old. Moreover, the skills you learn from doing math will help you in any field to go into. So I was glad that conversation went as well as it did.

So class went on, and we transitioned to a different topic. We had just started talking about linear functions, so we were reading mini-stories and turning them into equations of straight lines. In one story, someone needed to bake 100 cookies for a bake sale, but that person could only make a dozen cookies every ten minutes. The equation to describe this story is y=1.2x because you begin with 0 cookies and then you simplify 12 cookies divided by 10 minutes to make 1.2 cookies per minute. It seemed equally as straightforward as any other problem we had done, but that same student called out, “Wait, I don’t understand where the 1.2 is from.” So I said, “Well, to find slope, we divide the change in y by the change in x. So 12 divided by 10 is 1.2. You’re simplifying so that it’s like making 1.2 cookies every minute.” The student responded, “But that’s not what’s happening. You’re not making 1.2 cookies every minute. You’re making 12 cookies every 10 minutes. The cookies aren’t finishing gradually; you make them all at the same time.” So I took a minute to think about what he said, and I realized he was right. He was arguing that this problem was not best represented as a linear function. Cookies weren’t being made gradually; 12 cookies were made every 10 minutes. So I had to agree with him. I said, “You’re right. You’re saying that a linear equation isn’t a good model for this problem. So do you think our graph would look more like this?” I graphed a step function (a series of horizontal lines getting higher), which is a function they won’t learn for another year or two. He agreed with me that this graph was better. I was really proud of him for pointing that out, and I was really proud of myself for listening to him. Math can be very complicated, and when we don’t listen to our student’s queries or when we try to make their thoughts fit into our lesson, we restrict their growth and development. I certainly don’t want that. Furthermore, I loved that I could show him that math is actually useful to visually represent real-world problems and that he had the power to figure it out for himself. I only hope I can figure out how to do that every day in my classes.

New Classes!

So... I start teaching my very own class on Monday! Woohoo! I'm excited and scared. I will have a Math 3 class of 26 juniors. Math 3 is Algebra 2-ish: exponential functions, systems of linear equations, and quadratic functions. Then another teacher is going on maternity leave in May, so I will be taking over another Math 3 class of 22 juniors, and I will also move to her advisory. I'm really excited to start trying out all the things I've been thinking about this past semester, but I'm also nervous that many of them won't work. So I'm trying to go with the flow. I'm also moving a lot in seminar this semester. I'm switching to a different team to help with different reading levels for the juniors, and I'm also switching at the end of the term to help out the sophomores while their teacher is on maternity leave. So that will be an adventure too.

For my first day, I'll start off with them filling out an Info Sheet with their contact info and some fun questions. I'll collect those at the end of the period so I'll have their information. Then we'll spend some time introducing ourselves and just talking about ourselves. It will be a little bit casual, but as long as everyone can stay focused, I think we'll be okay. Then I'll pass out the syllabus, and we'll read that aloud and discuss it pretty thoroughly. I want to talk specifically about what I expect from the class, and I will want to hear what the students expect from me. I want to make sure that I'm super consistent with this group, unlike how I was last time. Then here's where I'm not totally sure yet. I want to do a really fun and exciting math activity that will really make the students think differently about math, but I don't really have any ideas. We have an activity planned that I may use if I don't come up with anything else. How many squares are there on a checkerboard? It's kinda fun. And I wouldn't be sad if we ended up doing that, but I'd really like to find something better. So any suggestions would be helpful. Then their homework assignment is to write a 1-2 page paper answering about 10 questions that I have posed to them so I can get to know them a little better. Like it?

I hate grading!

So I noticed while I was grading the Math 5 projects over winter break how much I hate grading. It's so arbitrary. Another intern asked me how grading math could be arbitrary. If I'm giving partial credit based on a student's work, I have to make judgment calls on how much each mistake is worth. Is this mistake worse than that mistake? What defines a conceptual misunderstanding, and what is just a silly mistake?

Furthermore, I've found that we don't do a very good job at creating tests/quizzes/projects with grading in mind. For example, with this project, we just asked them to do 38 problems out of a textbook and told them we'd collect it for a project grade. Since it was a project grade, I couldn't just check it for completion, I needed to grade it for accuracy. And 38 problems per student was a lot. So I wanted to give them a lot of credit for working so hard, but I also didn't want it to change their grades too drastically this close to the end of the semester. But then I didn't want to make any one problem worth more points than another because we hadn't told the students that certain problems were more important than others, so that didn't seem fair. My point is that I think it's important to set it up in advance how many points each problem is worth, so that both the teacher and the student know what's important.

I also want to address the attendance policy. I don't believe that failing a class based on attendance is fair or helpful for the student. If a student is 10 minutes late everyday yet understands the material and does well on all the tests and quizzes, it's not helpful for the student to retake the class in summer school. A grade should reflect how much the student has learned about a subject, not their attendance, their behavior, or their level of responsibility. I strongly believe grades have lost their meanings, and we need to separate these student skills from their understanding of the content. Sure, presumably in most cases, these student skills will help a student to learn better. However, it is not always the case. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be evaluating their attendance, their behavior, etc. But they cannot be factored into the course grade the same way. Maybe they get multiple grades for one class, I don't know, but I'm tired of seeing students fail classes based on their punctuality. It truly makes the grade lose any sort of meaning.

So the question is... how do I hold my students responsible for attendance and behavior without giving it a huge impact on their grade?

I don't know probability...

Short post. I just realized in the past few weeks in my Math 2 class how little I know about probability. It's maddeningly counterintuitive sometimes, and I really need to take a class on it. Here's to hoping I can get some professor to teach it this summer!

Tardiness and Attendance Issues

So the day we got back from break, one of the headmasters of our school came into my first period class and told everyone that if we improved our tardiness and attendance more than any other class, she would have something special for us! The kids were briefly excited by this. Would it be food? Or a party?!? Then they quickly started coming up with all their excuses again for why they are tardy and absent so often. I sighed.

I decided we needed to have a discussion about why it's so important to show up daily and on-time to class and how we could improve our attendance for the remainder of the term. More than anything else, our school has a very strict policy on attendance. More than three unexcused absences (and three tardies equal an absence), and you automatically fail the course. It's a very strict policy, and I'll get into my opinions about it further when I discuss assessment. So I tried to stress to them that it was not worth failing a class. But they then got pretty upset that the school has this policy. So I said that there wasn't much I could do about it at that point but that I agreed with them. However, they still have this responsibility to get to class and to not be late. So I asked them what strategies they could use to make sure they were here on time everyday. The first girl responded by saying she didn't know what to do because her child's daycare starts at 8am and school here starts at 8am, so what was she supposed to do? I was at a loss. I knew she had a child, but I didn't know that the father wasn't in the picture and that she had no one else really to help her out. (As you can see, I am constantly reminded of how naive and ignorant I am of their situations.) I had no idea how to respond. Another student said that I wouldn't understand because I don't live in "the hood," and sometimes it's not safe to go outside in the mornings. I didn't know what to say. I only could say, "I'm sorry. The school has a really strict attendance policy, and it's your responsibility to figure out how you can get to school on time everyday." I felt that this conversation was not helping. Then they began saying more ridiculous things like, "If class started at 8:10am instead, we'd all be on time." I wanted to laugh out loud. Most of my tardy students are late by 30-45 minutes on a regular basis, and half of the class doesn't even show up most days. It was a strange combination of very legitimate reasons and ridiculous excuses. So we ended class, and the same number of students were tardy the very next day. Clearly, we had a very unsuccessful talk. Suggestions?

Physics and... Apathy?

At the end of December, I began teaching physics to my Math 5 students. I didn't realize before starting that they had taken no physics classes at our school, so I had to start a little further back than I expected. However, it seemed to be a general success. As one student said, it was finally a true real-world application of the calculus they had learned, specifically using derivatives to find velocity and acceleration. He said he didn't really understand most of the rest of the course, but this was something tangible, and he could finally understand why we use math. Yay!

It was exciting to ask the question: what do we know about the ball when it reaches its highest point? They kind of stared at me for a little bit, and I asked them about the velocity of the ball as it was traveling upward. Well, the students said, it's slowing down until it reaches the top, then it starts speeding up again as it falls back down. Exactly right! For a brief moment in time, the velocity of the ball is zero, and it changes directions. This was a crazy revelation for many of my students, and I loved it! We also had a good discussion about air resistance, and how if we lived in a world with no air resistance, every object dropped from the same height (no matter its weight) would hit the ground at the same time. We talked about different gravitational pulls on different planets. It was really exciting! (And I was really glad I took some physics in college because I needed to answer a lot more of their questions than I had been expecting.) I was really proud of so many of my students for really actively listening and asking in-depth questions. They were really engaged and thinking.

However, there were a few students that didn't seem to connect at all. One student walked out of class every day and didn't come back until the end of the period. I had been having a lot of trouble with him all semester. He is not a disruptive student by any means - he is very quiet. However, if you bring any attention to him, positive or negative, he responds in such a condescending manner. I've been trying for quite a while to get to know him and dig beneath his many layers, but it just hasn't happened. And when he started leaving class every day, I grew very concerned that he was missing so much material. How do you bring a student back into the class and re-engaged? How do you get the student to open up to you? Or even just to respect you? I guess I'm just still struggling with that whole student motivation thing.

Also, one day I noticed that same student chewing gum during class, so I asked him to spit it out. He argued with me, as he often does. But he got up to go to the trash can. Then about fifteen minutes later, I realized he was still chewing gum. So I asked him again, and he argued that he was a senior and that it was "mango smoothie" flavor, so he shouldn't have to spit it out. Right. So he got up again, and when I noticed again that he hadn't actually spit out the gum, I gave him the option to go to the office. All the other students at this point were yelling to him, "Don't go. That's stupid. It's not worth it." But he indeed chose to leave.

So after class, I went to the office to make sure he had also gone. He had not, but I luckily ran into him and one of the headmasters at the same moment. So I asked her if he had come to see her, and she said no. So he said that I kicked him out of class for chewing gum, which he thought was unreasonable. I reminded him that I had given him a choice after asking several times to spit out his gum. So the headmaster backed me up and asked him to apologize to me and to make sure it didn't happen again.

After this had all happened, I felt silly. It seemed so ridiculous to go to the headmaster over a student chewing gum. I didn't want to become a teacher so I could nag kids about rules. However, I suppose it comes with the job. I wondered if this was following my ideals and philosophies or if this wasn't against it. I couldn't decide. I don't really care about students chewing gum or wearing hats, but I do believe in consistency. It is a school-wide rule, and I do feel like it undermines other teachers' authority if I don't also stick to the rules. Furthermore, it's part of holding the students to higher standards in the sense that they also must learn to follow rules and be respectful of other people's environments. I couldn't go into some cathedrals or mosques with my shoulders and midriff bare, so the students must also be respectful of what the school and teachers ask. Does that seem reasonable?

Youth Violence

One of the many things I have learned about my students this year is that they come from very different backgrounds than I do, and they generally deal with very different issues than I ever did. One of the hardest things they have to deal with is violence in their neighborhoods. I am still very naive about the issue, and it is truly difficult for me to understand.

Several weeks ago, we had a former student from our MAT program come talk to us about a documentary he and his students had made the previous year on youth violence. He brought four of his students along to share their experiences with us. Besides that we were all interested in hearing about how he used this media as a way to teach and as a form of assessment, I was very moved by some of things students said about living in areas of violence. I simply cannot imagine what it would be like at the age of twelve to see your father or your brother shot and killed, as is the case with one of my students. The four students who came to speak to us were very bright and very motivated by this documentary to end youth violence. Many students, fortunately, understand that the ultimate goal is peace. However, it's also easy to see how students can so easily become a part of it. When you're growing up with it all around, maybe you know no other way, or maybe you just grow numb to it. Somehow you rationalize that it's ok. So the "fight" for peace is a difficult one, but it's one that as an educator I try to support for my students.

Recently, in my advisory, we have grown concerned with a student's living situation. He and his family were attacked by a gang right outside their house after Thanksgiving, and since then, he says that he has been watched on several occasions. So we're looking into getting him and his family new housing. However, one of the other students responded by saying, "That's why you gotta carry a knife with you." I was surprised, and my mentor responded quickly by saying it was a bad idea. Fortunately, the student agreed and said he did not want to carry a knife for fear that it would get turned against him. Then, to my surprise, another student shared that she went to "juvy" for three days in fifth grade when she pulled a knife on another girl for talking trash about her mother. So we collectively agreed (I hope) that carrying a knife was a poor choice because you could end up getting in trouble or the knife could be turned on you. What I don't think we got across very well was the idea that carrying a knife to protect yourself only perpetuates violence in neighborhoods. It's like the backwards argument from gun owners that if everyone carried a gun, there would be fewer shootings. No, there's no way that more weapons means less violence. I guess it depends on your goal. Are you trying to protect yourself, or are you working to end violence? And I would like to be an educator who helps to empower my students by promoting peace. However, I know that I am still in a state where their stories shock me. And frankly, it should be shocking! It's awful how normal this has become for my students, and I only hope I can help them in any way I can.

I know, it's been too long...

I apologize for my hiatus. I promise it wasn't because there's nothing interesting to write about - there's always plenty. In fact, there's never a dull moment at my school, which is why I got a little too busy to keep writing. However, I am back in action, and I am hoping to do a better job of keeping up this semester. I will make a couple blog posts now that will talk about things that I missed in the past months, so ignore the dates. Please feel free to share your ideas with me.