First of all, we watched a documentary called Straightlaced by Debra Chasnoff. It was all high school students talking about gender; there were no teachers, parents, or other adults. It was eye-opening to hear so many students talking so candidly about gender. See here:
http://groundspark.org/our-films-and-campaigns/straightlaced
Some of my highlights (paraphrased):
A boy says, "You're taught from a very young age that boys wear baggy clothes. That's just how it is. If I saw a guy wearing tight pants at school, I'd probably make fun of him."
A boy says, "I know I can't wear this shirt to school because it's purple, and people will call me gay. But if people just recognized that purple is just a color; it doesn't mean anything."
Another boy says, "Of course it matters what girls wear. If there were two girls, and one was wearing baggy clothes, and the other was wearing tight pants and a tight shirt to show some cleavage, of course I'd choose that girl."
Another boy says, "I wore this scarf to school, and everyone called me gay. But I was just cold."
A girl says, "I was talking to this guy that I was interested in, and he brought up a book I had read. So I started talking about it and what I thought about it, and when I asked him his opinions, he said, 'I can't talk to you anymore.' Guys are intimidated by smart girls."
A boy says (in reference to the above comment), "Yea, what she says is true. If I'm with a girl who's smarter than I am, the rest of the guys will make fun of me. I can't have that."
Another boy says, "When I asked my girlfriend out, I went to great lengths for her. I bought her balloons and chocolate and had rose petals on her desk at school, and the chalkboard said, 'Will you be mine?' All the other guys made fun of me. Even one teacher asked, 'You have to go to that length to get a girl?' But she loved it."
A girl says, "When I finally came out to my mother that I'm a lesbian, she threw me out of the house. I got really depressed, and I got into all these drugs, like meth and cocaine. I was in jail for awhile. But I eventually pulled my act together and ran for student government. But my mom still doesn't speak to me."
A biologically female student says, "I consider myself 'gender queer.' I was born as a girl, but I don't feel like I really fit into either category, and that's all society wants you to do. When I go shopping, it's always a big deal, 'Am I shopping in the women's section or the men's section?' Everything has a gender, from towels to toys to lunch boxes. Even birthday cards have a 'his' and a 'her' section. And I just don't know which box to check."
In other words, we have a lot of issues in high schools dealing with gender, and as teachers, we really need to be aware of them. I often forget that much of the sexual harassment I experience in my life is directly related to these traditional gender roles that are so ingrained in our society. I too often think that we live in a post-sexism society because I have been privileged. I am able to do many things that women in previous generations could not, and I have my parents to thank for that. However, we are still seeing these issues in our schools, and I want to be able to talk to all of my students (women, men, gay, lesbian, transgender, etc.) about how they can empower themselves to fight these stereotypes.
In the afternoon, I went to a workshop called, "There's More to Talk about than Bathrooms: Transgender and Other Non-Conforming Students" or something like that. We talked about all the other issues surrounding transgender students besides which bathroom they should use. I learned a lot of good vocabulary (like gender-neutral pronouns) and the differences between biological sex, gender identity, and gender expression. It's interesting that transgender is always clumped into LGBT, even though most of the issues surrounding transgender students are very different from the issues surrounding lesbian, gay, and bisexual students. One deals with gender identity while the other deals with sexual orientation. I think my favorite point of the afternoon was that the first thing that is asked about you when you're born is, "Is it a boy or a girl?" And regardless, the person who asks the question is still going to say, "Congratulations!" So why does it matter so much? As soon as we're born, we're placed into a category. Why do we need to do that?
