Philosophical Dilemmas

So I believe I failed to mention that after I'm in school all day, I then have to go to school.  So Monday through Thursday, I make the trek up to school for my evening classes.  The three classes I'm taking (one meets twice a week) are Intro to Teaching (creative title, I know), Math Learning Environments (really Math Pedagogy - not sure where they came up with that title), and Class, Race, and Gender in the History of US Education.  So there is some overlap in the classes, but not a lot.  However, since all three of my classes are supposed to be informing the way I teach, I still in my head and in my practice have to figure out how to combine all the wisdom from these classes (plus the classes I took this summer: Human Development and Learning and Education of the Exceptional Child).  Basically, my Math Learning Environments class is right up my alley.  There is lots of talk about how we need serious math education reform and how it's important to teach concepts instead of just procedures, etc, blah blah blah.  Basically, the class is every reason that I decided I wanted to become a teacher.  On the other hand, the other two classes are much more heady (philosophical) for me.  There is all this talk about changing the system and leading your class in a democratic manner and having this mutual student-teacher relationship instead of teacher-dominating because especially in an urban school, the students have been oppressed by the school system their whole lives, so it's important that we reform it, etc, blah blah blah.  While it's definitely captivating and definitely necessary if we're really going to try to change the way the institution perpetuates racism, I don't understand how it actually works in the classroom.  This is what we describe as the gap between theory and practice.

I am always thinking of new ways to teach material so that the students can better understand it, and I happen to think my ideas are really good.  However, only the student that wants to understand it better is going to listen to what I have to say.  So how do I actually motivate and inspire students who never do their work and never show up to class?  Since it's clear that yelling at them and being authoritarian and telling them what to do all the time doesn't really seem to work.  If I'm trying to set up a model classroom that runs at least somewhat democratically, how do I engage and connect with those students who do not really care what I have to say about math?  In my high school experience, having a respectful adult conversation would have motivated me.  But I am not the same as every student, and I am really struggling to see how I can be encouraging for these students.  Today and last Friday when my mentor was out of town, I had the classroom to myself, so it was quite a struggle for me to have my first attempt at implementing all the things I've learned in the past... well, two weeks.  I was as genuine as I could be with them, asking them what I could do to help them understand the material better, asking them why I needed to keep asking them to be quiet, and finally asking them if they were egging me on so that I would send someone to the office.  I felt like sending someone to the office to exert my power was exactly what I should not be doing considering our philosophical discussions in class.  And I certainly wasn't going to yell at them.  So what do I do next?  No one person is out of control; no one is doing anything seriously wrong.  But the class as a whole is unfocused and loud.  What tools do I have to pull the class back in and make them respect me (and I respect them too)?  I was frustrated at the end of today.  Not because I was personally upset, but because I really want these ideals to be able to come true in the classroom, and it just didn't seem possible.  

I guess my question is, do I send a student to the office just to make a point that will continue to perpetuate the racism that is already institutionalized in our schools, or do I send a student to the office for the purposes of gaining respect from the students, or is there a completely different solution to this question?